Growing Babies

Zachary, 5 years old

Caleb, 8 months old

Ayla, 7 years old

 

My babies are growing up.

 

So, the last time I posted I shared maternity photos. Obviously, I'm not pregnant anymore. Caleb Anthony was born in May. It's been a rough road though. Here is a little about the last few months...

 

I ended up in the hospital again between my post April 19th and Caleb's birth on May 18th. I kept having contractions, but never dilated. We went in on the 18th as planned. Everything was okay until they tried to place the spinal. I had expressed my concern about the return of a spinal headache, so the anaesthesiologist was very careful as he prepared. I was very swollen from the pregnancy. So swollen, he had to massage my back to push away some of the 'water' from the area of the injection. Then he made a comment about the previous spinal headache that I had with Zachary. He said he was shocked that I hadn't had a worse problem because I have a 'signifcant curve' in my spine. He tried 3 times, but was finally able to apply the spinal.

 

Bryan was brought in and in just a few minutes, Caleb Anthony was born. He was 9 pounds 1 ounce and 20.5 inches long. Bryan went to be with the baby. The Drs proceeded with tying my tubes and removing some of the scar tissue from the previous 2 c-sections. Apparently, there was quite a bit of scarring and it took them longer than anticipated. They were concerned about the anesthesia and the amount of blood that I lost during the procedure. I was sent to post op/recovery and got to see Caleb. We were then taken to our room and everyone got to visit.

 

I was only kept a couple days, during which I had a painful scare. They said it was just normal bowel problems and nothing to worry about. I was sent home, still swollen and in pain, but alright according to the Dr.

 

The pain  grew worse over the next few days. The swelling didn't go away like it did with the other two deliveries. I eventually grew delirious and Bryan took me to the hospital. I was so scared.

 

They said it was a blockage in my urinary system. I had over 8 liters of fluid backed up in my system. The toxins caused infection and acute kidney failure. My bladder was stretched and I might have permanent damage. It was a miracle that I was still alive. While being treated for these problems, I developed an intestinal infection, c-diff. I was kept in the hospital for 6 days. I missed the first week of Caleb's life.

 

Bryan stepped up and took care of everything. The older kids visited with family while Bryan kept the baby himself. It has had such an impact on him. It also had an impact on Ayla, who won't go anywhere without me now...

 

I spent the rest of May, June, and July visiting Drs and having tests done to determine the damage. I was still in a lot of pain. I struggled with daily tasks, just carrying the baby. It took almost 7 months for most of the problems to mend. I still struggle with pain, but it seems to be unrelated (although we have not been able to afford for me to have the problem examined).

 

That's another part of the past few months. Bryan was managing a title loan store and making good money when Caleb was born. Then, they fired him. He was unemployed for almost two months before finding his current job. He is not making much. We have been blessed by the generosity of family and friends who have helped us to get by the past few months. He is now waiting on a promotion!

 

I look back at the past year and wonder why. I am amazed at all the little ways that God provided. I am thankful that he allowed me to be a 'miracle'. I cannot begin to tell you all of the little things that have happened - but you get the basics. I plan on taking the next few posts to cover a variety of topics - pictures of my kids, an update on my business, plans for our upcoming year...

 

I don't know if anyone actually ever reads this blog, but I thought it might give me a place to vent and share...

Maternity picture session with Pix by Sheri

We were lucky enough to have a maternity photo session with a wonderful local photographer. As a photographer myself, I am always soooooo incredibly picky about photos taken of myself. Not only was Sheri a wonderfully sweet woman, she was great with the kids, and the photos she took were absolutely wonderful. I love them!!! :)

Here are some of the wonderful pictures Sheri took...

The whole time the kids were standing there, Ayla was resting her head on my stomach. And the whole time her head was there, Caleb was kicking! Ayla said it felt "so weird" and she couldn't wait to move...

My prissy princess in her "bis sis" tutu. She danced around in it almost the whole time...

Easter photos and an update...

I hope you all had a blessed Easter!

Myself, 33 weeks pregnant

SO, since this post, we have had an interesting few weeks. I am finished in the Sunday school class and I have closed my shop for the summer. Since that morning in the hospital, I have been resting as much as I can. It's not bed rest, but it might as well be some days.

For the past week, I have been having contractions almost everyday. Sometimes it is only a few a day and sometimes I have to spend the whole day resting because of it. Caleb is a big, healthy boy with a very strong heartbeat. My blood pressure is keeping safe and stable, so they are still planning the c-section for around the 18th of May. At my appointment this week, I was starting to dilate. The midwife told me "unofficially", that if I make it to 35 weeks (which is today!) they will no longer try to stop labor. If I keep having contractions and dilate to a 3 or more, they will take the baby by c-section then. That means that Mr. Caleb could be here anytime between now and the middle of May.

Thankfully, as you can see from the past few posts, we have been getting ready for the little guy. We have everything ready for him. I am still trying to take it easy until my next appointment on May 1st. We hope that Caleb will stay put until then. It will be easier for Bryan to take off 3 weeks in May and the kids will only have a few weeks of school left. It will be harder if Bryan has to take off his full 5 weeks, so I am just trying to convince this little boy to stay put for two more weeks.

We are so blessed to have a family friend who has come over to clean the house. She will probably come at least once more before Caleb comes, I hope. We plan on having "nanny Doris" stay with the kids if Caleb can wait until the middle of May. If he comes before that, I know Bryan's family will be able to help Bryan with Ayla and Zach. I had planned to cook several meals and freeze them before the baby comes, but I'm not sure that will happen. LOL! I can only stand in the kitchen for about 20 minutes at a time before my feel swell or I start having contractions again and I have to lie down. It's enough of a challenge to get daily meals done, let alone stockpile anything. I'm going to try though!!! There is always fish sticks, frozen pizza, and mac & cheese if I don't get around to it. :) Good thing is Bryan and the kids love that kind of food, even though I can't stand it.

I am sort of in shock over the last few weeks. I am so emotionally and mentally drained from having to spend so much time resting. I am such an active, hands-on person. It is VERY hard for me to sit around and not be able to do daily things - like cook, clean, or play with my kids. I am ready for the baby to come, but I also want him to wait just a little bit longer. Because of the bed rest, swelling, and other problems, I have gained quite a bit of weight. I am very eager to get back to eating well, exercising, and getting all that weight gone. I am prepared for the hard work and I think it will be pretty easy to get into the swing of things once we adjust to having Caleb at home.

I also look forward to being back at church and seeing all my friends and family again. It has been so hard for me to miss church the past few weeks. Between the swelling, the contractions, and everything else, I can't sit at church with the kids for an entire service. Sunday mornings, Doris is there and is able to sit with them and help me if I need it. Bryan is stuck working long hours and is also upstairs running the sound this month, so he isn't able to help. He tries SO hard to help around the house and help with the kids, but after working 70+ hours, I know it is hard on him... He worries so much about me too. I am so blessed to have him... It will be nice to see people again and not be cooped up in the house.

Anyhow, I guess that is enough ranting. LOL! I am sure you get the idea of what the past 3 weeks has been like. We are looking forward to the end of this final pregnancy and welcoming our last baby to our family. I know this summer will be crazy, but I will try to keep everyone updated.

You can also keep updated with us by friending me on Facebook. :)

Making room for Caleb...

Caleb's space is all ready for him to come home! Bryan put together the crib yesterday and I got everything put where I wanted it...

This is Caleb's side of our bedroom.

This dresser holds his blankets, burp cloths, towels and washcloths, robes, bibs, hats, socks, extra bed sheets, extra boppy cover, and a few miscellaneous items. On top the dresser are his shoes, a few toys, a nightlight (for middle of the night business), the baby monitor, and his stuffed toys (in the basket). I love the sign above the dresser. One of Bryan's aunts gave it to me for my birthday and I loved how the colors went in our room... :) All of Caleb's clothes (size newborn through 3 months) are kept in one side of my dresser (3 drawers full!). We also have his bumbo, rocking horse, large playmat, and some other items tucked away in our closet.

His bed is all ready for his first night! One of my aunts bought the bedding items for us and we LOVE it! The crib quilt sort of covers the back of the crib, but you can sort of tell that it curves. Ayla and Zach love the mobile!

Diaper stacker, stocked and ready, and the diaper pail.

Stash of diapers and wipes from our baby shower! I think we might have enough for his first month... You can also see our Ergo backpack carrier and the striped bag holds a tummy mat and Caleb's books.

AND because of Mr. Caleb's recent stubbornness (post coming soon), I have my bag and his bag packed and ready to go. All I have to do is grab the last minute things as we walk out the door... I also have an extra diaper bag packed and stored in our car (just in case).

So, we are ready for the little guy to come home. We thought his birthday would be May 18th, but we aren't so sure anymore... But that's a story for the next post. :)

Making things for Caleb...

I have been busy making some things for baby Caleb...

Burp cloths

Tabby blanket

Tabby blanket

Tabby blanket

Boppy pillow cover (I made one in the blue dot fabric too)

Crinkle pillow

I plan on making some more things, but it has been slow going because of Caleb's stubbornness... but more about that in an upcoming post... :)

A thought provoking vocabulary lesson...

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day...

This friend has no children of her own, but she often babysits for her cousin. As we were talking, she tells me the following story and asks if I think she did the right thing...

She was watching her cousins children. The boy is about 9 years old and the girl is about 6 years old. They were playing nicely in the middle of the room with a video game. Suddenly, my friend hears them start fighting. She walks up to them and hears the 9 year old boy call his sister an unpleasant (and inappropriate) word and then shove her over.

My friend separated the two of them, took the game away, made sure the girl was alright, and sat down with the boy to find out what had happened.

"Why did you do that?" She asked.
"Do what?"
"Why would you call your sister that word and then push her over like that? You could have hurt her, pushing her that hard. Plus, we don't use words like that when we talk to people. What happened?" My friend calmly asked.
"She made me mad."
"I'm sorry she made you mad, but that's not how we are supposed to act when we get mad."
"Daddy does."
"Your daddy does what?" My friend tells me she was a little scared at this moment for what the answer would be...
"Daddy says that when he gets mad at people in the car."
"Did he say that it was okay for you to say it?"
"No."
"Did he say it was okay to push people or hurt them?"
"No, but he does it with his friends all the time."
"He hurts them?" My friend is trying not to panic at this point...
"They fight. They push each other and hit each other and wrestle and stuff..."
"But your dad never told you that it was okay for you to do it, did he?"
"No."
... My friend is a little lost now. What does she tell this kid? Should she step in and say something or let it go and leave it to the parents?
"Look. I don't like it when people use words like that around me. Okay? And I don't think your sister liked it when you called her that. I know you like your sister most of the time, right? (Boy nods). Well, it's not okay for us to try to hurt people that we love, like our friends and family. Okay? (Boy nods). I know it's hard when you see your daddy do stuff and then we tell you that you can't do the same thing. Sometimes grown-ups do things that they shouldn't do. And sometimes there are things that grown-ups do, that kids shouldn't do. You should talk to your mom and dad when you get home tonight and let them know what happened and see what they want you to do. For now, I think it would be good for you to tell your sister you're sorry. And let's not act like that any more today. Okay?"
"I'm sorry. I'll go tell her..."

So my friend tells me all of this, (which I had to copy and paste from her message to make sure I got it right) then she asks me if she did the right thing. I told her I think she handled it pretty well...

She says - "Well, I wasn't sure. These little sponge monkeys always seem to have something new to throw at me."

WAIT! What did you say? What on Earth is a "sponge monkey"???

She explains to me that she often calls kids she sees "sponge monkeys". Kids see what grown-ups do. They see how we act, how we behave around others. They hear what we say and what we tell them to do or not to do. So often, we act one way and tell them to act a different way. They are like little monkeys. Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey hear, monkey say. They don't understand why we adults tell them that they should be a certain way but we don't act that way ourselves. It's no wonder kids these days are so screwed up. They are too busy copying their parents and then getting in trouble when they do...

It really got me thinking. Such a strange phrase as "sponge monkey", yet the idea behind it held so much truth.

As a parent, I teach my kids how to act and how to treat others. I teach them how to take care of themselves and teach them how to react when they get upset about something. So many times, we think that the things we actively teach them are what is important.

We forget that our kids are watching us. They are looking up to us. They are depending on us to show them how to do the things we expect them to do. Are we providing them with the right model? Or are we being hypocrites (a word a lot of people have been using lately)? Do we act one way and tell them to act another? Do we say "Do what I say, not what I do?" and expect them to obey? Do we tell them to do something "Because I said so" and never provide them with a reason for their behavior?

I have seen many "sponge monkeys" in my day. Kids who have an attitude toward their parents, teachers, or other adults, only because they see their role models acting the same way. Children who say things that they do not even know the meaning of, only because an important adult in their life says the same thing. Kids who lash out when they are upset, because that is what they see adults doing...

I know I am no where near the parent I should be, but I pray that I do not act like this. I never want to see inappropriate behavior from my children toward someone else, because they saw it in me.

I try to live my life by very simple ideas and I pray my children can grow to see these ideas in me and apply them to their own lives.
LOVE - Love God. Love the people around you. Love the people who are not nice to you just as much as the people who are. Love people you don't know as much as people you know very well. Do not hate anyone - no matter what they have done. If you love them, you may be the one person to help them.
LIVE - Live your life for God. We do this by helping those around us whenever we can. It can be something as simple as a hug, or saying a prayer for someone who we think may need it. We can ask how someone is doing and really care about their answer. We can ask ourselves - "What can I do for that person?" and then we do our best to do it. Simple things often mean the most. Donating clothes to a shelter, putting a small gift basket together for someone who has been sick, sending a greeting card to someone just because they made you smile. We shouldn't ask ourselves what we get out of a gift, we should focus on how much we can put in to it. The more we can live our lives to help others, the happier we will be. (I know this first hand!) This is a hard lesson to "teach" a child, we have to live it out for them to witness. Nothing makes me happier than to see my kids offer to donate something to someone in need, or ask me if they can write a card to someone who has been very sick.
LAUGH - This lesson is even harder for adults than to live for others. As adults, our lives are filled with worries and stress and things that children do not understand. Kids don't understand the boss nagging us for a report, or the bill collectors calling for payments, or whether or not there will be enough in the budget to buy groceries. These are adult concerns. And many adults let these concerns overwhelm them. I have been all too guilty of this myself. You know what though? Kids don't understand why we are stressed and upset. They are too busy enjoying the little pleasures in life. Do you know that most kids enjoy a Dollar Store toy as much as a more expensive toy, sometimes more so. They can go outside and marvel at a kite in the sky. They can look at decorations at Christmas time and be in complete awe. Why can't we adults let go and enjoy the little things in life. Listen to a child tell you about something wonderful that happened at school. Take them outside for a walk and talk about all the amazing things God has created around us. Have them help you with a chore and explain to them how blessed we are for dirty laundry (it means we have clothes), dirty dishes (it means we have food), and cleaning dirty rooms (it means we have a roof and toys to play with). Be thankful for the smiles and the laughs. Enjoy the coloring books, Barbies, and toy trucks. Play pretend! Tell stories! Let yourself go and enjoy life through the eyes of your children because before you know it, they will grow up and you will miss those little moments.

I know the "LOVE, LIVE, LAUGH" thing has been done before, but it is still so true. If more people could follow those rules, and project them for our children to see, I wonder how much things would change. If we have so many "sponge monkeys" showing us our bad behavior, couldn't we turn it around and show the "sponge monkeys" how to be better people?

... Just a thought... Oh, and go give your little "sponge monkeys" a hug, just because!

An update...

Wow. As usual time slipped away from me and I failed to blog about what has been going on again... and now there seems to be so much for me to say.

The Basics -
Bryan is still working hard at his job, sacrificing himself for the sake of myself and the kids.

The kids are both growing up fast. They continue to do very well in school and their classmates and teachers tell me how much they are missed when they are not in class. They both went to the dentist recently. They both had some small cavities to be filled and they handled it much better than I anticipated. They have found a new love in brushing their teeth 3 times a day and flossing. :) It makes me realize that as adults, we should try to find the excitement in things like that. Although, I have to admit, I am not dying to brush my teeth when I get up in the morning...

We've made some other changes in our normal routine and the kids are really taking to it. We have started having a study/story time at night. I read a Bible story and we talk about it together. It has helped me a lot. I take my own time to read, study, and pray, but it is just as important that I share some of that with my children. They should learn and grow to enjoy that time as much as I do. With their spring break coming up next week, so many of their friends and our family are on vacation - I have decided to take time each day next week to do special activities with them. They love arts and crafts, so each day next week we are going to learn a new story, talk about the meaning, and do a craft to go with the lesson. :) I am always surprised at how much they learn from these moments...

Last week, Bryan's family threw a baby shower for me! It was a lovely evening with family and a few very close friends. We got a lot of wonderful gifts. I am so blessed to have such caring people surrounding me down here. :)

I have been working on some baby projects (clothes, wipes case, burp cloths, blankets, and boppy covers) and I will try and post on those projects later.

I have been doing fairly well, health wise. We had a small hiccup the other evening/morning. I spent several hours in pre-term labor. They were able to give me two shots of medication and stop the progression. I am now planning on taking it VERY easy for the next 5-7 weeks. We have almost everything we need for baby Caleb, but we definitely want him to wait a little longer before trying to make his debut. It has been hard lately for me to relax. I struggle with trying to take care of the house, the kids, the dog, my hubby, and myself. I have had to step back a lot. We have a lovely family friend who is coming to clean the house until the baby comes. The dog has adjusted to waiting for Bryan to come home to have someone to play with. She is very well behaved for a 10 month old puppy. The kids are able to do quite a lot for themselves, but they are having a hard time adjusting to the idea that Mommy cannot do certain things anymore. They often give me a difficult time with attitude and fighting one another, but I know it will pass. This Sunday will be my last day in the Sunday school class at church. I will miss it SO MUCH! I know I need some time to rest though. There has been a lot of stress outside of our house lately. Drama between family and friends and problems with Bryan's work... It breaks my heart. I know the last thing I need right now is stress, so I have had to step back from the situations and put my health and the safety of the baby first. I love the people involved, but I know if I let the problems get to me it will just stress me out. I have to step back and just leave it up to God. I'll be praying for everyone and the situations, but I will not let myself get sucked into the drama...

I have my last day of work for Home-2-Home (my business) today. I have two short photo sessions to shoot and then edit. After I am done with them, I will close up the shop until we get settled in to a routine with the baby.

Hopefully, after this week, my life will calm down and I can relax and keep myself healthy and calm while we wait for May 18th to come. That is most likely the day we will go to the hospital for our planned c-section and welcome baby Caleb into our lives.

I have several posts I plan on writing in the next few days. We will see if I get to them or if I get carried away again... ;)